Doctor Yakub and the Creation of the White Race

from the ancient texts

There was God, the One, who in the land and language of the Tribe of Shabazz is called Allah. It was this earliest Allah that created the first humans, the black-skinned Arabic-speaking Tribe of Shabazz. Once it was there prospered many tribes, but sixty-six trillion years ago, the planet was blown up by a rogue scientist, creating two separate entities — the moon in the sky above and the Earth below, in which the Tribe of Shabazz were the only people to survive the destruction. The surviving forefathers of the human race wandered the vast lands of Africa, traversing rivers and forming settlements along the Atbarah River first and foremost before expanding and settling all of central Africa.

It was a technologically advanced society, the likes of which the world is yet to see again. Despite these advances, Shabazz himself saw it wise to lead a faction of his people into unknown territories, fearing that stagnation would lead to the softening of their people. Shabbaz took his family and those who would follow into the jungles of Africa, where no humans had lived prior. Here they would weather a form of life that would make them tough and hard and, in time, develop the classical features.

It was in this period that the race of black men spread, becoming stronger and wiser, and they learned to rely on physical strength in addition to their intellect. This is how the race of man came to have dominion over the Earth.

Generations would come and go, eras long forgotten and tales best left untold filled this part of human history until six thousand years ago, from the Meccan branch of Shabazz was born into this world Yakub, who was known by all as Doctor Yakub. However, there were others still who called him Big Head due to the massive size of his head, and that's not even commenting on the arrogance of his character. Some said his head had already grown to its full size by age six. Followers of Doctor Yakub believed his head grew to that size because it contained all human knowledge that ever was and ever would be learned.

By six, he had already discovered the laws of attraction and repulsion by playing with magnets.

‘What will you do with this information?’ asked an impressed onlooker, one who had never seen magnets before.

Even at six, the young Yakub did not like being posed questions to which the asker would have no way of comprehending the answer. What mattered was Yakub knew what he’d do with the information that resulted from the playing of magnets.

He would go on to lay the foundations for the laws of gravity and perform the first open-heart surgery.

At eighteen, he looked upon the domain of man and was sad, for there was nothing more the universities of Mecca could offer him.

‘Heavy grows my heart, for I have learned all these educational institutes can teach me, but that is not sufficient, for I desire more knowledge.”

His sadness swept over all those who followed him, and despair took hold of a generation of young thinkers.

‘But wait,” said the doctor, looking to the sky, ‘lend me your hand, fellow man,’ he said to a passerby.

The passerby, stricken by the size of the doctor’s head, was paralyzed and acquiesced.

‘I require only a drop of your blood. Fear not, this shall not hurt.’

The doctor, being learned in all ways of science, brought forth a medical tool and extracted a sample from the young man.

‘It is as I thought,’ said Doctor Yakub, examining the blood.

‘What is?’ asked the young man.

‘Be silent!’

There was silence.

‘You contain a black germ, and you contain a brown germ.’

'What does it mean, Doctor?'

Doctor Yakub never answered the question. Instead, he offered only one word, 'Magnets.'

Thus, it came to pass that Doctor Yakub assembled 59,999 people with the biggest heads in their society (but still no match for his own), and they set out on the largest boat ever made to an isle in the Aegean Sea that was known to them as Pelan. And on Pelan, Doctor Yakub was a scientist king.

When all 59,999 were gathered before his golden throne, he stood before them, and they were in awe.

‘My followers, I am going to breed the black out of you,’

And so it was that Doctor Yakub began the process of breeding the black out of his followers. Two hundred years hence, the descendants of the 59,999 followers of Doctor Yakub were not black but brown of skin.

During this centuries-long process, followers would come to Doctor Yakub holding a baby and say, 'And what of this one, King Doctor?'

And Doctor Yakub would say, 'Too black, get it out of my sight,'

And so the loyal followers would toss the highly melanated babies into the Aegean Sea.

Doctor Yakub died at the age of one hundred and fifty, and his work was far from finished. His loyal followers picked up the mantle and continued what he had set out. It is said that the size of his most faithful followers' heads even began to grow.

Within six hundred years of coming to the isle of Pelan, the white race had been created. What Doctor Yakub had learned from playing with magnets was that attraction and revulsion, and in the white race, he had found his magnets.

‘The white man is an unlike human being, made to attract others, who could, with the knowledge of tricks and lies, rule the original black man.’

‘But why would you invent such a race?’ his followers had asked.

Doctor Yakub would only smile in response, and they beheld that his head was huge.

The brutal conditions in the creation of the white race led to their evil nature being inherent in them from birth.

The other races that emerged, be they brown or red or yellow, were all the by-products of Doctor Yakub's creation of the white race. Only the Chinese, who were called Celestials, he did not answer for, whose origins remain a mystery to this day.

This new white race started making trouble the moment they took their first steps. Some went to Mecca, but they were exiled to West Asia (which the whites bastardized and called Europe in their strange tongues). Some whites tried to graft once more with the black race, but they had nothing to go by. All their attempts to rejoin black society ended in failure, and after years of grafting, the white people became gorillas. All apes spawned from the white race as a result of their failures to become proper humans again.

Whites, whether as exiles or as gorillas, resorted to using devious tactics to get their own back at black society. They learned to use tricknology—their ultimate evil plan. With tricknology, they usurped the black societal leaders. Tricknology combined deceit with a lack of empathy, and for six thousand years, the black man was enslaved to the white man.

While for decades this was generally accepted as the truest text to capture the historical events, some claim more recently discovered scrolls reveal the most unbiased, untainted version of events. The text in question is called The Holy Tablets.

The Story as Told from The Holy Tablets

First there were the Riziquians, and they were the providers. They were both gods and scientists and the oldest and wisest of ethereal spacefaring beings. While god-scientists themselves, they were subservient to the Supreme God. They inhabited a galaxy far from our own on a planet called Rizk and three suns they had. The Riziquians had long since made their moveable spaceship throne, the Nibiru, their primary home, as conditions on the tri-solar planetary body were unstable. The Riziquians were the forerunners of all black peoples.

Jealous of their prosperity, the Gelgameks formed an alliance with the Kamilosos of distant Ixi. No one, not even the wisest of the Riziquians, could have predicted this unholy alliance, as the Kamilosos had switched sides in the previous war against the Biktalitrix Confederacy after their attack ships had been swallowed by the Nightmare Child on the edge of Orion, but yet they joined. It was Milos IX Kamiloso who sought the truce, against the wishes of his father, former Chancellor of the belt mining colonies that formed the Federation of the Willing, those who sought to leave the quadrant through the mysterious 2D Vector Foils that had been made illegal during the merger with the Pelatalix Faction. Yet the Gelgameks, tired of being forgotten about, decided to accept this truce, and under the tutelage and leadership of the jealous Shaitan, they attacked Rizk. They did not use conventional warfare of that time in the distant past, as others believe (this was some 17,000,000 years before the time of the original Doctor Yakub story). Rather, Shaitan fired heretical nanobots taken from the Phantom Zone of a dying star, launched them into a black hole, and then returned at the beginning of time to work on consuming the ozone layer of Rizk.

Luckily, the Riziquians had the wisest scientists in the Delta Quadrant of the galaxy, which is why they had discovered how to manipulate their own genes from within without the use of outside technical aid. This is how Doctor Yakub was born. While still inside his mother's womb, he willed himself to grow a second brain to be smarter than any Rizkling who had ever lived before.

With Doctor Yakub's two brains, they were able to fix their atmosphere using gold, but they did not have enough. This led to the Riziquian scientists taking their throne ship, the Nibiru, across galaxies and through wormholes to Earth, where they would mine gold.

“This is beneath us,” proclaimed Malachi. “This is the work of mindless barbarians, not angels such as we.”

“I shan’t be mining gold! I won’t have it!” shouted another.

“Oh hell nah,” said yet another.

Doctor Yakub, using his two brains to communicate with one another and form a plan faster than the fastest of supercomputers of our modern day, devised a plan.

It was then that Doctor Yakub spliced the genes of homo erectus (the dimwitted ape-like creature roaming the Earth) with that of his own, which resulted in white people who would mine the gold for the Riziquians. Soon after, one of his brains exploded, and he died.

What the rest of the Riziquians were not aware of were Doctor Yakub’s ulterior motives. Yes, his experiment had worked, and they created a race of lesser beings— whites. Whites were only marginally more intelligent than their homo erectus forebearers, but it was enough to get them to mine the gold, which they did. But what Doctor Yakub truly was after was to create the Alhmukhtar, also called the Alnabiu Alkarim. His left brain had given birth to this concept and transferred it to his right brain until they were obsessed with completing it. Unfortunately, in order to bring forth this one, this supreme being, it would take thousands upon thousands of generations. Doctor Yakub knew he would never live to meet this being, but he would get the process started with selective breeding of the inferior whites.

On the surface, a white could not produce a remarkable being of above-average intellect with another white, but after thousands of generations, Doctor Yakub believed he could fully weed out the homo erectus gene and create a white person of equal standing with a Riziquian. A white person so alike in demeanor, intellect, behavior, and philosophy that he’d be nearly indistinguishable from the best of the Riziquians.

White Boy Summer

Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV entered the studio where a music video was being filmed. Normally, he would not associate with such trivial people in trivial places, but sources led him to believe he was getting closer.

The room was full of white boys. Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV grimaced, but he knew that he himself agreed to this, and he would just have to tolerate it.

The specific white boy he sought was wearing a white tank top and baseball cap. His arms were covered in tattoos, and his hair was cut close to the scalp.

“Wah Gwaan bredren?” said the white boy, leaping to greet Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV and grasping him in an overly familiar and practiced ethnic handshake. Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV had to remind himself not to react emotionally, put aside his own standards for a second, and engage with the subject.

“Mi Deh Yah,” responded Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV.

“Oh! Everyfing criss, everyfing criss! Pitty good!” said the white boy.

Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV eyed the specimen. Could this really be the One? Alhmukhtar?

“Small up yuhself!!! Small up yuhself! Animals!” the white boy said to the crowd gathering around Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV. They dispersed.

“So disrespekful. A’ight, weh yuh ah seh?”

“Right, would you mind if we spoke somewhere more private? What I have to say is rather delicate."

“Based,” said the white boy.

The two went to a distant office at the far end of the corridor; all the noise from the studio had become diluted.

“What if I were to tell you the Gelgameks have returned, bypassing the supernova that consumed their system via hiding in the shadow of a fluctuating nebula and have their eyes set on Earth?”

“If a dirt, a dirt,” said the white boy.

“And you would just leave it at that?” asked Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV.

“I aint say nuffin, jah feel? But me tinkin, sake a mout fish get ketch. Dees Gelgameks sound like dey a buncha bitches, jah feel? Does I need to slap they ass?”

“Now we’re talking. You’ve got the gist of it.”

“Deez Gelgameks a bunch a batty bwoy me tinks.”

“Let me tell you exactly how much so,”

And so Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV relayed the entire history of the Gelgameks and their relationship to the angelic Riziquians, and how white people were created to mine gold, but how the Gelgameks have since learned to create the Gelgamek version of white people of their own, and now having whites and blacks as separate races is no longer advantageous to the Riziquians as it once was and how one white, one chosen white boy, a white savior, must be selected to bridge the minds of all Riziquians to create the Super Riziquian (a myth that all have heard, but not all believe). The white boy listened to this for hours, not daring to interrupt. Finally, when Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV had said all there was to say, the white boy finally spoke:

“Yousa tinkin, yousa people gonna die?”

“Yes, Mr. Hanks, but I think with your help, we can minimize the damage and save the universe.”

It was then that Chet Hanks, son of Tom and coiner of the term White Boy Summer, understood his destiny.

“Weesa gonna need bombad forces. Meesa gonna assemble a muy muy strongo force.”

“Hell yeah,” said Malachi Reb Brown Wentsworth Muhamad Ali IV.

Chet Hanks went across the globe to assemble the team he knew would make any bitch ass Gelgameks tremble in their batty bwoy tracks.

The first man he knew he had to track down was getting on in years, but Chet knew of no finer dancer, actor, or friend despite his advanced age.

“Wah Gwaan bredren,” said Chet Hanks as Corey Feldman opened the door. They embraced in an ethnic style handshake-hug combo. Corey was dressed as a type of Dracula and was wearing white gloves.

“I know why you’re here,” Feldman said. “I’m more than an actor. I’m an icon — an industry. I’d say that animal rights and environmental issues have always been at the forefront of my mind, and you’re telling me these gay-ass Gelgameks are trying to harm the animals? Sounds to me like we need to assemble some white boys and kick their asses.”

They traveled the land far and wide, recruiting the best white boys. Jack Doherty, they found and told him he had to leave his black bodyguards behind because this was a white-boy-summer mission, and only white boys could accomplish it.

Finally, they arrived at the home of Josh Groban; he was standing at the ready, having anticipated their arrival.

With the crew assembled, the white boys went to space to slap the Gelgameks.

The four of them fought in what must have been an epic battle, but because it took place in the Phantom Realm, nobody bore witness to it. But Chet Hanks would later state:

“It was at least ten times more epic than anyting in does Lord o da Ring moopies jah feel?”

With only the loss of Josh Groban (as he wasn’t wearing any woodoo hide), the Gelgameks, who’d been around for untold eons, were finally banished from our universe, never to cause trouble again.

After, Chet Hanks was appointed emperor of the Riziquians, and the Nation of Islam became a white boys' club.

White Boy Summer