Perverted and memorable brilliance! It was a movie idea at the start, imagining seven hundred pounds twerking, but it got more visceral than that. That "emperor has no clothes" adage is so dated now that mayo is in the cultural mix. Like Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan, Pierre remained a dick to the end.
Dude, I took a hard earned gooning break to read this, and am now sufficiently inspired to goon away long into the night.
Seriously (or slightly more seriously than the previous sentence - which is still fairly unseriously in the grand scheme of seriouslessness) though, you somehow only manage to write things I want to read. Every time I start to think Substack is just Twitter for desperate cat enthusiasts, I read one of your short stories and am reminded that there are still wizards out there casting their weird-ass spells.
Perverted and memorable brilliance! It was a movie idea at the start, imagining seven hundred pounds twerking, but it got more visceral than that. That "emperor has no clothes" adage is so dated now that mayo is in the cultural mix. Like Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan, Pierre remained a dick to the end.
If Chalamet is truly hungry for that Oscar, he needs to step it up.
I was sad there was no backflip, but the 20 mins of twerking served as a nice consolation prize.
I was also sad there was no backflip. A hack wrote this.
A reporter must report. I would never shoot the messenger. Until the next goon sesh.
Laughed out loud so many times! That little scoundrel David Low definitely has his issues, but dull writing is not one of them
Thank you for reading!!! Little scoundrel indeed.
you are such an insanely good writer oh my god... have you read schrodingers cat? by Robert anton wilson
insanely good. I really hope David gets pushed through one of these days.
That's unbelievably nice of you. I have not, but I will now!
I needed this
What prep did you do before reading?
That's between me and Pierre.
Fine then, keep your secrets.
Epic
Thanks for reading you sick son of a bitch.
This is insane!!!!!! Have you watched rap world
I have not! What’s that?
It’s a movie by Conner O’Malley that i feel like is in the same vein as your writing you should watch it it’s on youtube!
Dude, I took a hard earned gooning break to read this, and am now sufficiently inspired to goon away long into the night.
Seriously (or slightly more seriously than the previous sentence - which is still fairly unseriously in the grand scheme of seriouslessness) though, you somehow only manage to write things I want to read. Every time I start to think Substack is just Twitter for desperate cat enthusiasts, I read one of your short stories and am reminded that there are still wizards out there casting their weird-ass spells.
If I can even play a small part in providing you with gooning material, then I will happily oblige and be grateful you read.
This uber driver can confirm the veracity of said twerker
How's your car doing?
legend has it, she still squirts mayo
Sick, entertaining, hideous and really a lot of fun. Thanks.
Thanks for that! Doing any gooning tonight?
Ill goon on, dont you worry.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I love your books. But “little gay david” will never NOT be funny.
Little gay David and his little gay books.
A brown ti mother chalamet sounds awesome. Spank banking this article
Hell yeah! At the end of the day that's why we do it.
I feel like I could have gone much further with this one.
I hate mayonnaise.